Erling Haaland scored another goal in another win for Manchester City this weekend, taking his total in his first seven Premier League games to 11, an absurd number of goals.
He’s got three more in two Champions League games for laughs too, and he’s done it all even though he barely bothered to touch the ball the rest of the time.
These are some of his really ridiculous stats…
* The 11 goals he has stolen in his first two months in our league are the same as Dimitri Payet, Ademola Lookman, Harry Maguire, Emmanuel Petit, Granit Xhaka Rebrov, Andrew Shevchenko, Ronnie Rosenthal and Timo Werner.
* Haaland has scored more Premier League goals this season than Manchester United, Chelsea, Newcastle, Leeds, Bournemouth, Everton, Southampton, Aston Villa, Crystal Palace, Wolves, West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Leicester and Brighton, who are fourth.
*These goals are currently coming in at a rate of one every 52 minutes. If he continued at this rate and played every minute remaining of the league season (to you which of these seems less likely right now…) he would finish the season with 64 Premier League goals.
* By scoring nine goals in his first five matches in the English Premier League, Haaland finally He removed Mickey Quinn’s name from the record books. He had the previous record for most goals in his first five Premier League games with eight goals in the year football was invented. Sergio Aguero interviewed him on 2011/12.
*Haaland is already one of only six players Scored consecutive hat-tricks in the English Premier LeagueBut it has yet to match Harry Kane in this particular area of excellence. Not only did Kane do it twice, but he did so in the same year (if not in the same season) after scoring seven goals in his last two games in 2016/17 against Leicester and Hull before scoring a hat-trick in back-to-back games against Burnley and Hull. Southampton are on both sides of Christmas seven months later. It’s hard to attribute, by the way, that the Boxing Day hat-trick against Southampton in 2017 remains Kane’s latest hat-trick in the Premier League.
* With a hat-trick, Haaland tied the Premier League totals for Gareth Bale, Roberto Firmino, Sadio Mane, Christian Benteke, Eden Hazard and – the summary – Son Heung Min.
* Haaland’s hat-trick puts Norway in fifth place with Spain in the list of countries with the most hat-tricks in the Premier League with 12, while Haaland stands on the shoulders of giants such as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (triples), Stephen Iversen and. Joshua King (two each), John Carew, Toure-Andre Flo and Jean-Ige Fjoortoft (one).
* Haaland’s 11 goals in the Premier League came from 27 shots and, most ironically, a total of 156 touches. That’s a 40.7% snapshot conversion rate, and a 7.05% touch conversion rate. To be perfectly clear about what we’re saying here: Roughly one in every six of Haaland’s touches is a shot, and nearly one in every 14 of Haaland’s is a goal.
* Back-to-back hat-tricks against Palace and Forrest came from a total of 32 touches.
Haaland is responsible for only 2.54% of Manchester City’s Premier League touches this season, but 23% of their shots and 48% of their goals.
* 11 goals or the total return scored by Didier Drogba in six of his nine Premier League matches with Chelsea.
* Haaland is the fastest and youngest player to score 20 goals in the Champions League, eliminating the previous record set by Harry Kane of 24 in 10 matches when he reached this record in just 14 matches with Salzburg and Dortmund. At 20 years and 231 days old, Haaland is more than a year younger than previous record holder Kylian Mbappe as the youngest player to reach 20 Champions League goals.
* After just 21 caps, Haaland is ninth on the list of leading scorers for Norway’s men’s national team, needing just 14 to change Jürgen’s 33-game criterion that has been in place since before World War II.
Erling Haaland Honors
Austrian League: 2018/19, 2019/20
DFB Cup: 2020/21
Best player in the German Bundesliga: 2020/21
Bundesliga Player of the Month: January 2020, November 2020, April 2021, August 2021
Bundesliga Team of the Season: 2020/21, 2021/22
UEFA Champions League Squad of the Season: 2020/21
UEFA Champions League Forward For This Season: 2020/21
UEFA Champions League Top Scorer: 2020/21
UEFA Nations League top scorer: 2020/21
FIFA FIFPro World 11: 2021
Premier League Player of the Month: August 2022
Erling Haaland scored in the First Division
Molde (Elitseren) 2017-2018: 39 games, 14 goals
Red Bull Salzburg (Austrian League) 2018-2020: 16 games, 17 goals
Borussia Dortmund (Bundesliga) 2020-2022: 67 games, 62 goals
Manchester City (English Premier League) 2022: 7 games, 11 goals
Total: 129 games, 104 goals
Erling Haaland scored in the Champions League
Red Bull Salzburg 2019-20: 6 games, 8 goals
Borussia Dortmund 2019-22: 13 games, 15 goals
Manchester City 2022: Two games, three goals
Total: 21 games, 26 goals
Erling Haaland international record
Norway 2019-22: 21 games, 20 goals